New year, new...something?!

Teachers all across the country are struggling with the current situation. And, sadly, there is no right approach to how to handle education in this moment. There are, I suppose, just less-bad options. (I just used the creation of my Bitmoji classroom as a justified refusal to deal with reality!!

People keep asking me how things are going. My honest answer? The things that are good are really fabulous and the things that are bad are really terrible. I have been trying to take a step back and embrace the good, but the bad brings a true sense of loss and mourning. 
​The way our schedule at MCS is set up in order to minimize "unnecessary" contact. One "specials" teacher will spend two weeks with one grade; this week is my second week with first grade, then I will go to second grade next week. (The PE teacher, who is currently with kindergarten, will start his two-week rotation with first grade next week)  So, going through the rotation K-6 means that I will next see my first graders at the end of December. I'll let that sink in for a moment.

I strongly believe that the best way to improve as an educator
is to observe other teachers.

First the good. ​​I absolutely LOVE working with other teachers so closely, and ones who teach very different subjects. I spent multiple consecutive hours in the two first grade classrooms. I see different ways of approaching presenting material, thinking about content, and interacting with students. I strongly believe that the best way to improve as an educator is to observe other teachers. This intimacy and concentrated periods of time give me an opportunity to connect with both teachers and students in ways that were never possible given my frenetic and widely varying schedule. I have lunch with students, I help them with their writing and their math, I tie their shoes. (Well, let's be honest, I was already doing that!)

I chose to work on The Very Hungry Caterpillar with first grade, as this is as close to a "unit" as I come.

But the bad? It's really not so much bad as sad. There's no way on earth that I can provide the same opportunities for acquiring French in two week chunks, with an hour a day.  It's just not possible. (I'm used to minimum 90 minutes a week with each grade, spread out over the week.) There is the possibility of structuring an art project or a library lesson that will wrap up "neatly" in 14 days. However, that can't happen with language. I do not mean this to belittle my specials colleagues. But in this regard French is, well, special. You would never ask a child to practice writing or reading for a concentrated period of time, and then have them stop for six times as long. ​Logistically, it works fine. Realistically, it's a nightmare. And it breaks my heart to see a huge part of my identity, being a French teacher, disappear. I'm working, but I'm not doing my job.

Don't think of it as a lost year, think of it as a sabbatical. 

But in a conversation with my therapist earlier this week (he's a GENIUS!), he said something that was simple yet profound, and really made me look at this year with a different lens. I'm paraphrasing, but he basically said, don't think of it as a lost year, think of it as a sabbatical. Hmmm....sabbatical? I let that sink in for several seconds. (And I'm someone who HATES silence!) And he's right. There's no way I can compare this year to past years. Therefore, I need to think about this year as unfamiliar territory. If I approach my lessons, my interactions with students, and my time in the classroom with the same perspective as I have approached every other year, I'm bound to be frustrated, sad, and even angry. I have known from the beginning that I would not cover nearly the same amount of material than in a normal year, but the reality of how it is playing out was a punch in the gut. I put emphasis on the word "was." I now look at my days at school in a unique way, and it has helped me to come to terms with what I'm not able to do and embrace what it is that I experience and observe. 

I had originally thought I needed to let it go.* But now I recognize that I don't have to let it go, but need to embrace the change à la David Bowie. Hopefully this "sabbatical" will provide me with other ways to reach my other students, both those whom I see in person, and those in families who have chosen the remote option. Maybe then I will have a sense of how to provide for my home-school students.

I'm back on my filming game, producing videos that can serve all students, regardless of their proximity to 22 Church St. (And some of them will feature, for sure, Dizzy Izzy!)
If you are frustrated, I hope you can find a change in perspective that allows you to find the silver linings. They might need to be polished, and they might not be big, but I really think they're there!

And I leave you with this final thought.

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(I still haven't watched Frozen, but Kristen Bell has some hysterical videos, and her husband Dax Shepard produces one of my favorite podcasts. There's your wormhole for the day!)